The One for Me SakixMiya One-shot

The One for Me

Saki/Miyabi

One-shot

Thanks for the encouragement Glori, I wouldn’t have posted this if you hadn’t pushed me. ❤

You wanna know what sucks? When you love somebody with all your heart but they pay zero attention to you. When you know that the person they’re with shouldn’t even have the honor of being with the person YOU love.

Really sucks, doesn’t it? Sucks a lot.

But you wanna know what sucks the most?

When you’re willing to give up that love for that person’s happiness.

Everyone thinks that being a leader automatically makes you strong and wise. Well, everyone is wrong.  I’m not strong and I’m not wise.  In fact, I’m still such a child.  A child who can’t stand the thought of not getting what she wants.

But…

I’m ready to give up.

I’m ready to give her up, because I’ll never have her. No matter how hard I try she will never love me the way I love her. She’s destined to be with another and I’m destined to find the one person that is for me and only me.  I’m ready to give her up and continue on alone.

Am I bitter? Hell yeah.

******

I opened my eyes only to be greeted by an empty and dark room. I knew she wasn’t here.  I knew she was with him.  Even after being caught she continued to see him.  I suppose she really does love him.  However, even though I’ve promised myself that I’ll let her go, the thought that she’s with him still continues to drive me just a little bit insane. I don’t know what’s worse: the smell of cologne that she drags into the room or the goofy smile she has plastered on her face once she enters the room.  Both things push the knife in my heart just a little bit deeper.

No, stop that. Don’t make yourself upset.  Remember. Remember you said you would get over it.  She’s not worth it.

*Knock Knock*

I sighed.  It’s probably her coming back from her date.  I’m surprised she hasn’t gotten caught.  I looked at where the nightstand was.  The only keycard we had gotten was resting in the same spot I had told her it would be.  Idiot.  She was such in a rush to leave that she didn’t pick it up.  I never could understand how a guy could turn a girl into a complete fool.

I got up slowly and stretched. She could wait. I ran my hand through my hair and went to open the door.  I looked through the peephole and she was standing there shuffling through her bag.  Probably still looking for the keycard. I opened the door and she smiled at me.

“Ah, thank you, Saki. I thought you were asleep.”

“I was.” Ok, so that wasn’t exactly the truth.

“Oh, I’m sorry.  I forgot the keycard because I was in such a rush.”

God, I knew her like the back of my hand.

“It’s alright, just come in and get yourself ready for bed.  We have to be up early for the photo shoot tomorrow.”

“Ok, Saki.”

I went back to bed and turned on my side. I noticed that she didn’t smell like him at all, which was a good thing for me.  That cologne gave me a major headache. I began to play with a loose fiber from the sheets.  She was probably changing right now and I didn’t want to see.  Ever since I had promised myself to get over her, I had begun to put lots of distance between us.  It’s not like she noticed anyway.  Once she got herself a boyfriend, I had gone from best friend to the person she went to when she needed someone to cover for her disappearances.  I guess I could live with that.  I didn’t have to be around her that much anymore.

“Hey…Saki?”

“Hm?”

“Could you look over here for a minute?”  I turned my head and she quickly flashed me and ran into the bathroom laughing.

“Damn it, Miyabi! What the heck?” I heard her giggle from inside the bathroom and I felt myself melt a little on the inside.  I hated that about myself.  I wanted to be mad at her but I just couldn’t be.  She could turn me into a drooling idiot whenever she wanted to.  I looked towards the bathroom door hoping to catch her coming out with only underwear on.

I’m pathetic.

I heard the door knob turn and I quickly turned to my side.  I shouldn’t do this to myself.  I just pretended to sleep.  I didn’t want to talk. I didn’t want to hear her talk about him.

She began shuffling around the room, probably picking up some things she had thrown around in her ridiculous search for something nice to wear.  I hated that.  I hated that she only wanted to look good for him.  He didn’t deserve it.  He was a slob.  He doesn’t deserve her.

I finally heard the bed creak and assumed she was in bed.  I mentally sighed in relief.  Now it’s time for sleep.  Time to visit the land of dreams.  I made myself more comfortable and closed my eyes.

“Saki?”

God damn it, I’m trying to sleep here.

“What?”  I spoke a little more forcefully than I should have and I instantly regretted it. She remained quiet for a few moments.

“I’m sorry….I thought that maybe you were still awake.”

“Well, I turned on my side for a reason.  I obviously wanted to go to sleep.”

Oh boy, someone stop me.  I’m being such an asshole.

“I’m sorry.  I….just wanted to talk.”

God damn it, Miyabi. I don’t want to talk . I just want to sleep. Can’t you see that? I already know what you want to talk about.

Him.

How cute he is.  How gentle he is when he kisses you.

Ugh, I don’t want to hear it. I just want you to shut up for once.  He’s not even that important.

“Saki?”

“What? What, Miyabi?  I want to sleep.”

Just please….leave me alone.

It hurts too much.

I heard her get up and then I felt an added weight on my bed.  I turned to her. She was on all fours and staring down at me.

“Are you mad at me?”

She gave me a sad look and I instantly regretted everything I had done.  I was only being mean to her because I couldn’t stand the fact that she loved someone else.  I wanted her all to myself and even though I told myself I would move on, I just couldn’t.  She still makes my heart beat faster when she passes by.  Her smiles still make my stomach do flips. Her touch….still makes me think of things I shouldn’t think about.

I sat up in bed and brought my hand up to cover my face.

“No, Miyabi, I’m not.”  She crawled towards me and looked straight at me.  I felt nervous with her so close to me.

“You’re lying.  You are mad at me.”  I looked to my right.  I couldn’t stand looking into her eyes. They made me weak and I just couldn’t be weak at this moment.

“I’m not lying.”

She placed her thumb and index finger on my chin and made me face her.

“Is it because of him?”

I pulled away and hopped out of bed.  I shook my head.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m not mad, so get off my bed and get back into yours.”

“If you’re not mad then why are you acting so differently? You used to tell me everything but now we hardly talk, Saki.  You’re my best friend.  Do you know how that makes me feel?  You didn’t even tell me the news that they put you in a new unit.  Maimi told me.  She was surprised I didn’t know already.”

“I don’t have to tell you everything, you know.  It’s not like we’re attached at the hip.  I’m not acting differently, you’re just overreacting.”

Seems like the asshole in me just came back for round two. .

“Saki…why are you acting like this?  I haven’t done anything to you.”

“In what way am I acting? Explain it to me, Miyabi.  I don’t seem to understand.”

I leaned against the wall and crossed my arms.  She sat cross legged on my bed and clutched the sheets. She seemed to struggle in finding the right words.

“You…well…you’re acting like an asshole.  I love you a lot, Saki, and I don’t want things to get weird between us.”

Tch, she loves me? Riiiight.

“I’m an asshole? Ok, then maybe you shouldn’t hang out with this “asshole”.”

Aw, shit.  Those are the worst words I could have said.

I heard her sob and then she covered her face with her hands.  She began to cry even more and I started to panic. Crap, what do I do? What do I do?

Ok, Captain, time for you to stop being stupid.

I approached her slowly.  She’s totally pissed at me and well, I don’t want her to slap me or anything.  She continued to cry even after I got on the bed. That’s a good sign.  She’s not going to punch me just yet. I placed my hand on her shoulder and expected her to slap it away but she didn’t. Ok, I’m not going to get hit.

“Miya…I…”  She faced me and pushed me back.  I stared up at her.  What the hell just happened? She remained on top of me and pinned my arms down.

“It is him, right? Tell me, Saki.”

I shook my head.

“No, it’s not.  You’re crazy.”

“You’re jealous, aren’t you?”

“No, I’m not.  I’m not jealous at all.”

“You like me, don’t you?”

“…No. No, I don’t.”

“Don’t lie to me, Saki.”

She caressed my cheek and came closer to my face.  What’s she doing?  Her lips were centimeters from mine.  Really…what is she doing?! I thought she was going to kiss me but she moved closer to my ear and whispered.

“Tell me you like me and I’ll break up with him.”

I felt my heart quicken.  Is she serious? This isn’t a dream, right? Because if it is, I’m gonna wake up so pissed off.  I need proof that this isn’t a dream. I moved my hand up and it went right on her thigh.  She smirked at me and I felt like I was going to pass out.

“Miyabi…”

“Just say it.  Tell me you like me.  Do you know why I even went out with him?”

“Because you like him?”

“No.  Saki, you’re so dense.  I did it to make you jealous.  I never liked him.  I’ve always liked you.”

“Miya…”

“Just please tell me you like me, Saki.  Tell me I didn’t do all of this for nothing.”

I reached up to caress her cheek.

“Do you know how much it’s hurt me to see you with him?  I gave up on you, Miyabi. I really did.  I couldn’t stand that he had you.  I wanted you all to myself and it made me so angry that he had you.  I made up my mind a while ago.  I didn’t want to keep putting myself through this.  I just wanted to disappear from your life.  But Miyabi…you’re all I’ve ever wanted and you’re all I ever will want.”

I was expecting her to laugh and tell me that she was just playing around.  I thought that maybe I was being stupid. She wouldn’t risk her career just to get with me.   Maybe I’m just getting my hopes up.

Maybe….I’m just fooling myself.

She placed her hand over mine.

“I’m sorry, Saki.  I shouldn’t have done that.  I’m here and I’m ready to be with you.  He means nothing to me.  I don’t want us to become distanced.  I want everything to work out between us.  Don’t give up on me, Saki.  Please….don’t give up on me.  I did all of this for you. Nothing else matters to me. ”

I didn’t know what to say.  I guess she isn’t lying or just playing a cruel joke on me. But at the same time… I love her, I really do, but I’m afraid.  I don’t want our friendship to be ruined.  This is a big step and I don’t want anything bad to happen.  We’re both risking our careers here.  We have something great going for us and it could be ruined if people found out about us.  We might get shunned by the world. Do I really want that to happen to both of us?

……

What’s wrong with me?  This is what I’ve always wanted.  Why am I so scared?

I looked into her eyes and there was a mix of emotions.  They looked hopeful but almost pleading at the same time.  Who the hell am I kidding?  I love this girl too much.

Love is about taking chances, right?

“Miyabi, I don’t like you.”  Her eyes quickly lost their glow and her lips curled into a frown.  I almost wanted to laugh but I just smiled at her.

“I don’t like you.  I love you, Miyabi.”

“Saki…”

I pulled her down for a quick kiss and then she buried her head in my neck. I began to stroke her hair.

“What are you going to do about him?” She giggled into my neck and spoke.

“I already broke up with him.  That’s why I was in such a rush to leave.  I wanted to get it over with.  I wanted to come back home to you, Saki.”

I smiled.

This really isn’t a dream.  It couldn’t be.  I was holding her in my arms.

That’s all I ever wanted.  I heard her whisper something before she fell asleep.

“I love you, Saki.”

And I love you, Miyabi.

——-

Lol cheeeeeeeesy endings. gotta love em.

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