Don’t Cry for Me YajiUme One-shot

Ok, so there’s a bit of a sexy scene in this, I will mark it with red.

Don’t Cry for Me

YajiUme

One-shot

“So doc, what’s the problem?  What can you give me to help me feel better? These headaches are driving me insane”

The doctor looked at the papers in her hand, but she didn’t look at me. There was something off about the way she was standing there.  I got up to see what was wrong.  What did those papers say?

“Doc? What’s wrong? I’m ok, right?”

The doctor put her hand on my shoulder.

“I think you should sit down.  I have a lot to say.”  She grabbed the door knob and pulled the door closed.

*****

I lied down on our bed.  I was feeling a whirlwind of emotions.

I was: Confused. Angry. Upset. Miserable.

Sad.

I don’t want to leave you.  I don’t want to be away from you. I always want you near.  I want to touch you all the time.  I want to know that I’ll wake up every morning and you’ll be there, smiling at me and kissing me to wake me up.

I don’t want to leave you.

But I have to.  I don’t have much time. I have to be there for you, but I can’t let you know.  You can’t find out.  I’ll lie to you.

It’s for the best.  You shouldn’t cry for me.  I want you to be happy.  If you’re happy, then I’m happy and that’s all I need.

That’s all I need before I die.

I just want you to be happy.

I hear the door downstairs.  You’re coming home now.  You’ve been at work all day.  I can’t wait to see your smile.  It melts away any worry I might have.  I hear your footsteps. You’re getting closer to our room.

Our room.  The place where you whisper words of love into my ear.  The only place where we can be away from the world.

It’s just you and me in here.

Only us two.

You open the door and I see it.  That beautiful smile of yours.  I sit up and you greet me.

“Hey, baby.”

I smile back, of course.  I can’t be sad because if I am, you will know.  You know everything about me. Even if I trim my hair, you know. You notice any little change. You know all of my secrets and you know all of my flaws.

And you still accept me, even if I’m this imperfect being.

“Hi, how was work?” You take off your jacket and throw it aside.  It lands on the chair with a low thump.  You walk towards me and push me back in bed.  I giggle. I like when you’re dominant.  You’re usually so submissive and it just makes you cuter than you already are.

“Work was great.  I got so many compliments today.”  You grin and move a stray piece of hair away from my face.

“How was your hospital visit? Did the doctor say what was causing your headaches?”

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry I have to lie, but you can’t find out. I need to do this alone.  I don’t want you to suffer.

“Oh yeah, she said I might be going through some stress.  She prescribed some pills for me to take.”

“Stress?” You look at me worriedly.  I should have thought of a better lie.  I don’t want you to worry about me.

“It’s nothing really.   I’m just a little tired is all.  I’m looking for a job, so I’m a little upset that I haven’t found anything.”

You stroke my cheek.  Your hand then cups my cheek and you pull me closer to kiss me.  Your lips are so soft and I feel myself about to cry.

Why do things have to be this way?

I hold in my tears and you pull away.

“Don’t worry about a job.  You will get one soon.  I can take care of things for now.”

You get up and stretch.

“I’m going to make us something to eat.  What do you want for dinner?”

I think for a moment.

“Crème brulee.” You laugh at my request.

“Silly, that’s dessert, but ok, I will make if for you.” You walk out the door but before you leave you tell me something.

“I love you, Maimi.” I feel my lip quiver but I won’t cry.

I won’t cry because I don’t want you to cry for me if you find out.

“I love you, too, Erika.”

*****

“It’s hard for me to say this, but…” The doctor can’t even look at me.  What’s going on?

“Tell me, doctor.  Just say it.”

The doctor sighs.

“We….well we found out what’s causing the headaches.” The doctor looks down at the paper again.

“I’m sorry to say this but we found a malignant tumor in your brain.  We can’t do anything about it.  It’s spreading…..you don’t have much time left to live.”

I just stare at the doctor. I’m speechless.  A brain tumor? Me? The only thing I can ask myself is why?

Why me?

Why now?

Now…that I’m so happy.

I haven’t done anything bad.  Why do I have to die?  What have I done to deserve this?

“Yajima-san?” The doctor shakes mea little.

“How much time do I have left?”

“…Only about a month.  It’s very advanced and there are no treatments for it.  Removing it could instantly kill you….”

I don’t say anything.  What can I say? Thank you for telling me I’m going to die? I stare down at my hands and then the doctor puts her hand over mine.

“Yajima-san, just try and…live your life to the fullest now.  Take care of things that need to be taken care of.  Don’t spend your last days depressed.  Enjoy what little time you have left with your loved ones…”

I nod my head.  I have nothing else to say.

*****

“Maimi, stop being such a child.  I’m not going any faster.  I need to follow the speed limit.”

“But Erika, you’re going slower than a snail.  There are cars honking their horns at us.”

“I don’t care.  I’m following the speed limit.  We are too young to die.”

I say nothing else.  You notice my silence and reach over to caress my thigh.

“When there’s less traffic, I’ll speed up a bit, ok?”

“Alright, Erika.”

I begin to pout and you laugh.  That laugh still makes my stomach do flips.  You still make me feel like a silly school girl with a crush.  My heart still starts beating rapidly every time you enter a room.  Every morning when I see you, I fall in love with you all over again.

You’re the only one I’ve ever loved and you’re the only one I will ever love.

“Ah, we’re here.” You climb out of the car and walk to my side to open the door.  I’ve been losing strength and I know you know, but I always change the subject whenever you ask.  I feel my strength draining away.  It’s all happened so quickly.

I feel like my head is about to explode, but I can’t let you know.  I’m sucking it up.

I have to be strong.

“What are we buying, Erika?”

“Groceries.  I want to make something delicious for you.”

“….but you’re already delicious enough.”

I notice how your cheeks flush.   I’ve made you blush.  You scratch your cheek in a cute manner and remain quiet.  I reach for your hand and trace my thumb along your knuckles.

We enter the grocery store and walk up and down the aisles.   You’re trying to find the right ingredients but I just can’t keep my hands off your body.

I’m always touching you and you’d think that by now I would have remembered every curve of your perfect body, but I always end up finding something new.  It excites me to find something new.

You excite me.

You lean over to get something from the lowest shelf and when you rise I wrap my arms around your waist and whisper into your ear.

“I want you, Erika.”  You gasp.  I move my hand down to your waist.

“Maimi…”  I pull away and laugh.

“Hurry, or else you won’t get any later.” Your eyes widen and you pick up the pace.  You quickly grab the rest of the ingredients and pay.  You grab my hand and lead me to the car.  We both climb in and you start the car.  You ignore the speed limit and we make it to our home in no time at all.

You quickly drop the groceries on the table and make a grab for my waist.  I however, have other plans.  I run up the stairs and run into our room. I close the door and wait for you to catch up.  I hear you laughing behind the door.

“Maimi, don’t tease me.  Let me in.”  You turn the knob but I’ve locked the door. I hear your frustrated sigh behind the closed door.  I hear the rattle of keys and then you open the door.  You stand there glaring at me but it’s quickly replaced by a smile.

That smile which melts my worries away.

You come closer to me, with your hands out in front of you.  I laugh and hide under the covers.  You quickly pull them off and crawl onto our bed. You place your thumb on my chin and make me face you.

“You’re such a tease, you know that?” I grin and push you back into the bed.  I pin your hands against the bed and kiss you.  You moan into my mouth and I move my free hand down and slide my fingers up your shirt.  Your back arches but I move my hand away.  You groan in frustration and I put a finger to your lips.

“Patience, Erika.  I’ll give you what you want.”

I help you remove your shirt and you help me remove mine.  I move closer to your body, feeling immense heat where our skin touches. I unclasp your bra and bury my face in between your breasts. I can never get enough of your body.

You moan out loud and I smile.  I love to make you feel this way.  I want you to scream out my name.

“Are you comfortable?” You nod your head and exhale slowly.  I pull up your skirt and pull down your underwear.  Your thighs are sticky and I lick off every last drop.  You cry out.

“Maimi!”  I smile.  That’s what I want to hear.  I lick around your slit and then suck gently on your clit.  You squirm underneath me.  I stick my tongue in and you squeak. I whisper.

“So cute.”

I dip my tongue in and out and you tangle your fingers in my hair. Your thighs lock around my head and you begin to squirm around even more.  I place my hands on your stomach to hold you down. I swirl my tongue around and you cry out in ecstasy.   Your hips rise but quickly sink back down. I lick my lips, eager to taste every drop of your sweet, sweet nectar. I move up and plant a kiss on your lips.

“I love you, Erika.”  You catch your breath and wrap your arms around me.

“I love you, too, Maimi. I love you with all my heart.”  You turn me around so that I’m the one lying down on our bed. You smirk at me.

“Since I love you so much, I’m going to return the favor.”

*****

Pain. So much pain.  I don’t know how much more I can take.  I’m so weak.

I’ve caught you staring at me.  The sadness in your eyes makes my heart sink.  Do you know?  It’s becoming more obvious isn’t it? I can’t hide the constant trips to the bathroom.  Every time I eat, it just comes back up.

You’ve knocked on the bathroom door several times to make sure I’m ok and I always lie.

“It’s nothing.  I’ve just been feeling a little nauseous.  It’s a side effect of the medicine.”

But there isn’t any medicine.  There never was any medicine.  I just want you to believe that I’m getting better.

I don’t know how much longer I can survive in this world.

I want to stay with you.

Only with you.

*****

“Maimi, we’re going out.” You help me up.  It’s really early.  The sun isn’t even out yet.

“Where are we going? It’s 4:00 in the morning. ”

“To the beach.  You need some fresh air.”

“Why?”

“So you can feel better.”

I quickly wash up and grab some jeans and a long sleeve shirt.  You place a kiss on my cheek once I’m ready.

You then reach for my hand and lead me to the car.  You help me in.   I lean back into the seat.  I can barely keep my eyes open.  You climb into the driver’s seat and reach for my hand again.

“You’ll feel better soon, ok?” There’s a hint of sadness in your voice.

“Ok, Erika.”

You start the car and we head out.  We start passing different streets and I’m not sure where we are, but I trust you.  I’m not worried about getting lost.  I hear some sniffling coming from you and I see a tear stream down your cheek.  I wipe it away.

“What’s wrong?”  You shake your head and smile.

“Nothing at all.  It’s just allergies.  They’re making me tear up.”

I’m not sure whether or not to believe you, but there’s no reason for you to lie to me. I sit back and close my eyes for a moment.

Some time passes and I’m beginning to feel restless.

“Erika….are we there yet?”

You shake your head and grin.

“No, Maimi.  Just a little bit longer.  I want to find a good spot.”  We’ve reached the beach.  The smell of the sea is enough to make me feel a little better. You find a parking space and help me out the car.  I shiver.  It’s a little chilly out.  You rub my arms and lend me your jacket.  You take out a blanket from the back and we begin our journey into the beach.  There’s no one around since it’s so early.

You find a good spot and lay out the blanket.  You help me sit down and then wrap an arm around my shoulder.

“I want you to see the sunrise, Maimi.  I want to be here with you as another day starts.”  I snuggle into your chest. You’re warm.  I hear you sniffling again.  There are tears streaming down your cheek.  I look at you confused.

“What’s wrong, Erika?”  You close your eyes and try to wipe the tears away.

You remain silent.  Did you find out?  I kept everything hidden.

“Maimi…why…why didn’t you tell me?”

How did you find out?  I didn’t want this.  I didn’t want you to cry for me.

I want to say something to you.  I want to console you, but I’m feeling my strength drain away even more.  It’s almost time.  I have to leave you soon.

I make you look at me.

“Erika, I love you.  I always have and I always will.”

“Maimi….”

“No, just please tell me that you love me, too.”

“I do…I do, Maimi. I love you.  I love you so much.  Please don’t leave me.” You sob into my neck and I stroke your hair.

“Please don’t cry.” I look out into the sea.

“Just please watch the sunrise with me.”  You continue sobbing but you face the sea.  I lean against your shoulder and watch the rising sun.  It’s just a semi circle above the horizon.  I close my eyes and reach for your hand and give it final squeeze.

I’ll see you again, Erika.

Don’t worry about me.

Don’t cry for me.

Because…

I’ll be waiting here…

…in heaven.

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